Parental Alienation of Child-Part 1
Dr. William Gardner identified and described “the parental alienation syndrome”. In the area of family law, these are cycles of allegations that are made often; it used to be sexual abuse and now it seems to be parental alienation. Dr. Gardner’s view of parental alienation is becoming disfavored among his professional community and more research has been done. If the family lawyer needs to have experience with this issue. This allegation requires extensive investigation prior to pleading. More often that not the issue is not parental alienation of child, but a combination of the emotional dissolution, inability of the parental to communicate, and using the children as inappropriately as confidants, messengers or the parents putting them in the middle of the litigation.
The definition of alienated child: as one who expresses, freely and persistently, unreasonable negative feelings and beliefs (such as anger, hatred, rejection, and /or fear) toward a parent that are significantly disproportionate to the child’s action experience with that parent.
There may be varied reasons why a child may be rejecting one parent and these should be eliminated prior to an allegation of parental alienation: “normal developmental process (e.g. normal separation anxieties in the very young child) resistance rooted primarily in the high conflict marriage and divorce (e.g. fear or inability to cope with the high-conflict transition), resistance in response to a parent’s parenting style (e.g., rigidity, anger, or insensitivity to child) resistance arising from the child’s concern about an emotionally fragile custodial parent (e.g., fear of leaving this parent alone), and resistance arising from remarriage of a parent (e.g., behaviors of the parent or stepparent that will alter willingness to visit).”
Continuum of parent-child relationships during and after divorce:
1. positive with both parents
2. Affinity with one parent, “By reason of temperament, gender, age, shred interest, sibling preferences of parents, and parenting practices, these children feel much closer to one parent than the other. Such affinities may shift over time with changing developmental needs or situations.
3. Allied Children: “These are children who demonstrate to express a consistent preference for a parent during marriage or separation and often want a limited contact with the no preferred parent after separation. Unlike the alienated child, children allied with one parent generally do not completely reject the other parent. Most often the express some ambivalence toward this parent, including anger, sadness, and love, as well as resistance in contact. Allied children may become this way because of “intense marital conflict and flawed marital dynamics in which the children were encouraged to take sides or carry hostile messages,” and older children may ally with the parent they perceives most hurt or vulnerable. The children can be helped with therapy if there is a cessation of conflict.
